好色先生TV

A note to Lords Foster and Rogers: Mr Morello is awaiting your replies.

Mr Morello, along with his wife, three children and pet goat, is the creation of Knightsbridge-based commercial lawyer Duncan McNair.

Over the past 10 years, he has written to public figures including lordly architects, politicians and companies as this Italian gent, who loves the UK but has not yet grown accustomed to its ways.

He wrote to John Prescott asking if his son Rizzo (7) could name one of his puppies after him. Prescott鈥檚 office replied:

鈥淢r Prescott is content for your son to name one of Wendy鈥檚 offspring in his honour.鈥�

Sir Cliff Richard was less obliging, refusing a request to allow nudist ramblers to walk through his back garden.

The letters, which McNair began writing for the amusement of his nephews and nieces, have now been published as a book, entitled The Morello Letters: Pen Pal to the Stars.

Construction and architecture have provided McNair with a rich source of potential targets. Not included in the book are his letters to Rogers and Foster, which were only sent in April. John Smith, who is an architect, as well as McNair鈥檚 friend and tennis partner, used to work for Rogers and said he had 鈥渁 great sense of humour鈥�. McNair is hoping for replies in time for a second book.

Sir Cliff Richard refused Morello鈥檚 request to let nudist ramblers walk through his garden

鈥淩ogers is from an Italian background, so I mentioned in the letter that he should go there one day, because they鈥檝e got loads of old buildings, one of which is tipping over, and they鈥檝e done nothing about it,鈥� he laughs.

He also congratulated Foster for 鈥渉is鈥� tremendous work on the Pompidou centre and the Millennium Dome.

A month later he wrote to 鈥渢he top PR person鈥� at Wembley National Stadium Limited, demanding compensation for going to Wembley rather than Cardiff for the FA Cup final in May.

In one of the book鈥檚 funniest exchanges, extracts from which are reproduced below, he asked Barking & Dagenham council for permission to insert a double-decker bus into the roof of a house he was buying.

The planning inspector turned out to be most helpful, informing Mr Morello that it might 鈥渇all foul of the 好色先生TV Regulations鈥�.

And one of his next targets is a major contractor. McNair is rather taken with the contractor鈥檚 logo and has decided to inform the company that there might be something awry with it.

You have been warned.