好色先生TV

You feel 16, you might even look 21, but the cruel hard truth is that if you鈥檙e over 40 you鈥檙e old 鈥� in the eyes of colleagues and employers at any rate. So how do you overcome this hurdle? Follow our plan to pull the wool over everyone鈥檚 eyes鈥�

Play your cards close to your chest

Nobody need know exactly how old you are unless you tell them. If you do lie, prepare a realistic age you are comfortable with, so it rolls off the tongue.

Dye your hair

There鈥檚 nothing more ageing than greys. Make sure you go to a hairdresser 鈥� you don鈥檛 want to end up with a DIY two-tone look.

Don鈥檛 behave like a fuddy duddy

Okay, anyone younger than you is bound to be an irritant, but don鈥檛 tut when they tell tales of the previous evening鈥檚 escapades or call their music a 鈥渂loody racket鈥�.

Watch your references

Especially when it comes to popular culture. TV shows, records and films will all date you. If you mention something nobody鈥檚 heard of, say: 鈥淢y mum told me about it.鈥�

Avoid 鈥榙ad dancing鈥� at the Christmas party

And don鈥檛 get excited about Status Quo or The Carpenters. Equally, be restrained when the Arctic Monkeys are playing or people will suspect you鈥檙e doing a Gordon Brown.

Forget the future

Don鈥檛 be caught fretting over your pension. You鈥檙e justified in worrying 鈥� just do it in the privacy of home.

Get to the top

The best position to be in if you are 鈥渙ld鈥� is firmly on the peak of the pyramid. This way you can do all the bossing without worrying about getting the push. Just make sure you recruit an army of fellow oldies to help you man the defences.

If things get bad, get litigious

With the new age discrimination laws, any jokes made about your seniority means you can threaten to sue. The boss will be so petrified that the matter will be sorted out before you can say Stanna stairlift.