Quentin Shears, 48, is a quantity surveyor at Newt UK, the Hertfordshire outpost of US multinational Gator Corp. Quentin rarely watches Sky Sports

I received a curious phone call this week.

鈥淗i there, is that Quentin? You probably won鈥檛 remember me. My name鈥檚 Andy Gr - err - Black. We met a couple of years back at the opening of Hertingfordbury Academicals鈥 new stadium.鈥

鈥淎h yes, a beautiful project. By which I mean it came in considerably under budget. And that鈥檚 no mean feat since those Rockafellers at the Football Association started insisting on all-seater stadiums. If there鈥檚 one thing that annoys me, it鈥檚 unnecessary additional furnishings 鈥 Anyway, what can I do for you Mr Grrrr-Black?鈥

鈥淎ch, call me Andy! All the boys in the studio do!鈥

I have to admit I couldn鈥檛 remember the man, but I don鈥檛 know, there was something about his needlessly enthusiastic, over-emphatic - some would say shouty - Scottish delivery that made me warm to him.

鈥淭he thing is, Quentin, I was looking for some career advice. You see, I have recently found myself out of employment.鈥

鈥淎h, the times we鈥檙e living in, Andy. Can I just check though - you鈥檙e asking me for careers advice?鈥 In 25 years as a quantity surveyor, it is fair to say that that hasn鈥檛 happened very often.

鈥淵es I am. You see, it seems that some of my traditional views on certain matters are 鈥檌ncompatible鈥 with those of my former employer. So I thought to myself, where can I work surrounded by kindred spirits who appreciate that women are completely mentally and physically unsuited to certain of the more skilled jobs? You know, like running up and down in a straight line occasionally waving a flag in the air. And then I thought, I know! The British construction industry!鈥

I didn鈥檛 like the direction the conversation had taken. 鈥淣ow, hold on Andy, I鈥檓 not sure you鈥檝e got that quite right.鈥

鈥淥f course I have! I read just the other day that just 10% of the British construction workforce are women. It stands to reason. A woman can no more manage a site or expand the boundaries of parametric architectural design than she can run the line in a Super Sunday Clash. If there鈥檚 one thing that 20 years of incisive and analytical punditry have taught me, it鈥檚 that statistics don鈥檛 lie.鈥

鈥淏ut honestly Andy, the industry just isn鈥檛 like that any more!鈥 I tried to sound insistent but, as a QS, I was shaken by his confident use of data.

I ploughed on: 鈥淲e have women in the office! Several of my colleagues read the Guardian! We honestly prefer working with opinionated and highly educated young female architects to elderly colonels like Richard Seiffert! Andy, I鈥檓 sorry to have to say this, but your views are prehistoric!鈥

鈥淏ut Quentin, I played for Scotland in the days when they qualified for World Cups. I am prehistoric.鈥 He sounded a little crestfallen. 鈥淪o you鈥檙e saying there鈥檚 nothing for me? I just wanted to be with the lads. I miss the boys in the studio 鈥︹

Perhaps he was right. A man should be allowed to enjoy the company of other men - even I occasionally have my colleague Alan Quimby over to watch the History Channel.

Well, I suppose - and I warn you this is very much a long shot - there might be one or two construction sites where your views might not be regarded as completely abhorrent 鈥︹

鈥淭hat鈥檚 brilliant! Hey, maybe I could be a crane driver! I鈥檓 used to sitting up in a glass box, just looking down on the action. Just me and a colleague making penetrating insights about the women passing by 鈥︹

Oh God, what had I said? I had the uneasy feeling that I had put the cause of gender equality in British construction back 40 years in the space of one phone call. I needed to put him off, or come up with an equally alluring career suggestion.

鈥淭ell me, Andy, have you ever thought of going into Italian politics?鈥

As told to Nick Jones

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