Quentin receives an invitation from Gator Corp to build a croquet venue - then demolish it

Quentin Shears is a senior partner at quantity surveyor Newt UK, based in Bishop鈥檚 Stortford, Hertfordshire - a county that is currently gearing up to host the 2012 Inter Home Counties Croquet Olympiad 鈥

This is a dark day for sport, though it started auspiciously enough. For four years, the people of Hertfordshire have been eagerly preparing for these Games. How we celebrated on that crazy night back in 2005 when a combination of local celebrity backing, wildly ambitious costings and a jazzy PowerPoint presentation pushed us past the rival bid from the Kent Organising Committee of the Croquet Olympic Games (KOCCOG). As I said to Blockbusters presenter and Stortford resident Bob Holness at the post-vote party: 鈥淭his is the biggest thing to happen to Hertfordshire since Stevenage got a Waitrose!鈥

Of course, it wasn鈥檛 just about the croquet. That would be ridiculous. Croquet takes its responsibilities to the wider community very seriously, and the intention was always that the sport would kick-start the regeneration of the urban wasteland that is Bishop鈥檚 Stortford鈥檚 east end. However, the one stumbling block in this plan has always been the 鈥渓egacy use鈥 of the main stadium. Even back in 2005, as Bob and I partied into the early hours, an uneasy question nagged away at me: 鈥淒oes Bishop鈥檚 Stortford really need a 10,000-seat croquet arena?鈥

Things came to a head earlier this week. Newt was holding talks with one of the consortiums interested in taking over the stadium after the Games. I wasn鈥檛 entirely happy about this, largely because the consortium in question represented Buntingford Bowls Club. As I said to our American boss, John Gatz Jr: 鈥淲hat鈥檚 the point of building a sports arena in one part of the county just for it to be taken over by a different sport in a different part of the county?鈥

鈥橧f you look at it on paper, it makes sense to take a brand new stadium, destroy it, and build a new one in its place鈥

鈥淐ome on, Quent, it happens all the time! Hell, everyone knows the Boston Red Sox started out as a table tennis club in Wales. Besides, bowls is where the money is now - in 10 years鈥 time, 90% of the population will be over 70. The Qataris are pumping in billions, Murdoch鈥檚 buying up the rights - five years from now, Buntingford Bowls Club will be bigger than Man Utd.

鈥淨uent, I need you batting, or should I say bowling, for us on this one.鈥

And so on Tuesday I found myself in a meeting with the board of Buntingford Bowls Club and several members of the Qatari royal family. Leading proceedings was Buntingford bowling legend, Ken Trundle: 鈥淐an I start by saying that what you鈥檝e got here is a great stadium,鈥 he began, 鈥渁 really great icon for the town.鈥

鈥淲e certainly think so,鈥 I replied, 鈥渨hich is why we at Newt are very keen to be involved in your plans for its post-Games future.鈥

鈥淎h yes, our plans. We want to demolish it.鈥

I reacted in the only way that seemed appropriate. I spat coffee through my nose. 鈥淲hat? Why? Why would you do that?鈥

鈥淲ell, it鈥檚 a lovely stadium, fantastic for croquet. But it doesn鈥檛 really work for bowls. The viewing lines are all wrong. With croquet, there鈥檚 action all over the pitch, but bowls is more, well, end-based.鈥

鈥淐an鈥檛 you just build your own bowling stadium in Buntingford?

鈥淲ell, we did think about that, yes. But honestly, if you look at it on paper, it makes far more sense to take a brand new stadium miles from where we鈥檙e based, totally destroy it, and build a new one in its place.鈥

鈥淎nd you can鈥檛 just modify the existing stadium?鈥

Ken chuckled. 鈥淵ou鈥檇 think so, wouldn鈥檛 you? But again, no.鈥

鈥淏ut this is just completely humiliating! I mean, what would the Croquet Olympic Committee say?鈥

鈥淵es, I can see that might be an issue,鈥 replied Ken. 鈥淏ut on the plus side, if we set a precedent for redeveloping multimillion-pound buildings after one month鈥檚 use, it can only be good news for people in your line of work, can鈥檛 it?鈥

He had a point.

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