好色先生TV

On the Scottish parliament

10 December What鈥檚 eating you?

I hear things got a little fractious at the ICE鈥檚 annual dinner in Edinburgh. After splendid nosh, Marshall Scott, head of Balfour Beatty Scotland, had settled back to enjoy the speeches. First was Alex Neil, MSP for Central Scotland, who berated Balfour鈥檚 table for the cost overruns at Holyrood. Problem was, Balfour didn鈥檛 work on the parliament. Scott wasn鈥檛 happy. He elicited an apology from the ICE鈥檚 president but was prevented from obtaining more serious satisfaction from the MSP by the toastmaster, who did a sterling job at calming the situation, despite being held by the lapels.

8 October Floor double-oh-sheven

One dignitary who will be present at Holyrood will be the so-called 鈥淜ing of Scotland鈥� Sean Connery. I understand that Connery鈥檚 mellifluous tones will inform those using the lifts which floor they have reached. In case you鈥檙e wondering how much this contributed to the building鈥檚 拢431m price tag, I鈥檓 told Connery offered his vocal services gratis.

On the Olympic bid

10 December Body talk is hot stuff

London 2012鈥檚 dream team was one man short when the Olympic masterplanners gathered at London鈥檚 Royal College of Physicians last week. Allies and Morrison鈥檚 Bob Allies, HOK 厂辫辞谤迟鈥檚 John Barrow and Jason Prior from EDAW all turned up for the lecture, but Foreign Office Architects鈥� Alejandro Zaera-Polo was stuck in India with an ailment. This meant Prior, whose metier is strategic planning, was lumbered with explaining the visionary thinking behind Alejandro鈥檚 stadium designs, based on human muscles. As the screen flashed between images of taut six-packs and flowing bodies, the unassuming Prior appeared ill at ease. 鈥淚鈥檓 getting pretty hot under the collar talking about all this,鈥� he confessed.

26 November Very much the man in form

Much hilarity at the official launch of London 2012鈥檚 Olympic bid document at Canary Wharf.

A slick presentation was followed by a star panel of Lord Coe, Tessa Jowell, Jonathan Edwards and good old Ken Livingstone, who brought his usual gentle humour to the occasion. First he castigated Britain鈥檚 鈥淰ictor Meldrew鈥� pessimism over the games. Then a young Times journalist asked him if he could think of any negative aspects to the bid. 鈥淲ell,鈥� he drawled, 鈥渢he only negative aspect of the whole thing is that in 2012 your newspaper will still be here.鈥� Ken鈥檚 clearly not a fan of the new compact quality.

On Wembley

All the stars came out to play last Wednesday for the Wembley stadium topping out ceremony 鈥� Tony Blair, David Beckham, Sven-Goran Eriksson 鈥� Mike Jeffries. Yes, Atkins鈥� chairman Jeffries was mixing it with the A-list crowd like a Big Brother winner in Stringfellows. What鈥檚 more, Multiplex boss Noel Henderson got to fulfil all his Mark Lawrenson fantasies by being interviewed by Ray Stubbs. Just a shame that Cleveland Bridge, the people that actually built it, weren鈥檛 invited 鈥�

15 October Talking of charm

As the acrimony over the Wembley stadium project continues, I was reminded of the early days of the scheme, back when my old friend Ken Bates was in charge. The feisty former Chelsea chairman had announced a change to the scheme without informing the project team.

This clearly ruffled feathers at Foster and Partners and HOK, so it was decided Lord Foster himself would have a sit-down with Ken. Foster duly turned up to Bates鈥� office and was greeted with his customary charm. 鈥淗ow the f*** did you become a lord?鈥� were apparently the first words he uttered to the world-famous architect.

19 March Aw, bugger
Like a planet he struck Cannes. Like a lion he roared from one development agency stall to the next, from EEDA to SWERDA, from SWERDA to NWDA, from NWDA to SEEDA. Like a second Maradona he waltzed through crowds of press officers, security guards and, er, David Lunts. So it was rather a shame that, when the time came to give a rabble-rousing speech, words failed Mr Prescott. On the subject of Birmingham's successful regeneration, he told us: "Who can forget the role of Sainsbury's in the regeneration of Birmingham?" Or, indeed, remember it?

On the BBC

18 June Lunching with wolves

I hear Gleeds鈥� move from its Victorian pile in Regent Street to trendy premises in New Cavendish Street 鈥� down the road from key client the BBC 鈥� has proved a mixed blessing. Staff at the consultant鈥檚 august client have discovered its in-house cafe, 鈥淕usto鈥�, is not only rather good but also highly subsidised. Suddenly BBC staff seem to be taking over the new deli bar. 鈥淲e now call it 鈥楪utso鈥�,鈥� says my source.

On politics

6 February Nigel in hot water

Nigel 鈥渉ard work鈥� Griffiths, our valued construction minister, has been keeping a low profile of late. But he got into difficulties this week after he stuck his Midlothian oar into the increasingly turbulent Bath Spa row. Apparently, he invited representatives from Mowlem, Grimshaw and the local council to round table talks. It seems the Grifter succeeded in uniting those present to the extent that they all now hate him as well as one another. Under the headline 鈥淏lair should get rid of this joker鈥�, the Bath Chronicle fumed about 鈥渢he sheer arrogance of the man鈥�, and it urged the PM to 鈥渕ake sure that this joker is removed from the pack whenever the junior echelons of government are reshuffled鈥�. Sounds as if everyone should meet up for a day of aquathermal relaxation.

26 November The small cure-all

I see those cunning foxes at New Labour have come up with a new wheeze for sidestepping all those targets they set themselves. First there was the 鈥�10-year transport plan鈥�, which was dealt with by ordering everyone in Whitehall not to talk about it any more. Now I hear of another Jason Robinsonesque sidestep with regard to the goal of building 100 hospitals by 2010. This target remains, but from now on it will include small hospitals that are easier to build. Trebles all round!

On the future (hit and miss)

12 March Relatively good news

Jarvis鈥� PR team must have breathed a mighty sigh of relief last week after the BBC鈥檚 Money Programme failed to present any new dirt.

Jarvis brushed the programme off as 鈥渇ull of hot air鈥� 鈥� and its shares promptly improved.

Is this a sign that the firm has passed its nadir, I wonder?

19 March Rooney tunes

Who says everyone at MIPIM is obsessed with property? I heard some interesting gossip on an unrelated subject. A well-placed source informs me that Everton wunderkind Wayne Rooney is off to Manchester United at the end of the season 鈥�

11 June Ein, zwei, Di
I hear the team behind the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fountain, due to open in Hyde Park next month, had a tricky decision to make. It seems that three quarries were shortlisted for the 545 chunks of granite needed for the job 鈥� one in Germany, one in France and one in Cornwall. Clearly a tabloid backlash would have ensued had a tribute to the Queen of Hearts been marmorialised in foreign stone. The team bravely decided to pass the buck to the client, in the person of culture secretary Tessa Jowell. After mulling over the cost and quality issues for a couple of nanoseconds, Tess plumped for Cornwall.