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Dear, dear

I was intrigued by the first publication of MPs鈥� expenses out last week. Good to see Nigel Griffiths is hard at work: he claimed a cool 拢135,282 last year, 拢27,000 more than the average MP. This was bettered by our previous minister, however: Brian Wilson got through 拢145,518 of our money, 拢31,074 of which was on travel. Those two pale in comparison with Labour MP 鈥淐ostly鈥� Claire Curtis-Thomas, who has been lobbying to end retentions. She posted the highest expenses total of all 鈥� 拢168,889. The former mechanical engineer鈥檚 claim for postage and stationery, part of which was firing off anti-retention letters to the Treasury, came to 拢19,038. The question is, have her claims been paid in full, or has some been held back until she proves she has completed her job?

Snappy comeback

Proof that regulations minister Phil Hope (expenses 拢125,559, if you鈥檙e interested) is quick on his toes came during a speech he was giving for the Civic Trust last Tuesday. While he was waxing lyrical about sustainable communities, the MP鈥檚 pager went off, throwing him momentarily off his stride. Quick as a flash, Mr Regulations recovered his composure: 鈥淭hat鈥檚 John Prescott telling me not to say too much,鈥� he quipped.

When shall we three 鈥� ?

A good time was had by all at Whitbybird鈥檚 21st birthday party last week at the Science Museum, west London. I see that, as well as joint founder Mark Whitby, present at the soir茅e were Peter Rogers and Stef Stefanou. As you may remember, this was the trio that joined with Bob White from Mace to attack the industry鈥檚 institutions last month, calling for them to be stripped of their royal charters unless they reformed. Is their revolutionary plot gathering pace, I wonder?

Caption competition

I was impressed with the response to my call for captions to the amusing picture of the octet of adjudicators and arbitrators in front of an antique steam train, published last week. There can only be one winner, however, and the bottle of plonk goes to Martin King of East Anglian QS and surveying firm Castons. He has the train driver saying: 鈥淕entlemen, please sign this before boarding the train: 鈥楾he driver shall not be liable for anything done or omitted in the discharge or purported discharge of his functions as a driver unless the act is in bad faith, and any employee or agent of the driver shall be similarly protected from liability鈥�.鈥� Well done, Martin.