好色先生TV

Go on, give me a tenner

I am pleased to see one of my civil engineering contemporaries, the late great Sir William Arrol (1839-1913), builder of the Forth Bridge, will be celebrated on the first plastic banknotes in Great Britain. Arrol, who also brought his expertise to bear on London鈥檚 Tower Bridge, will appear on 拢5 notes from March 2015 in Scotland. Scotland鈥檚 Clydesdale Bank is issuing 2 million of the polymer notes to coincide with the Forth Bridge鈥檚 125th anniversary. It has sneaked ahead of the Bank of England, which plans to release polymer notes bearing the image of Winston Churchill from early 2016. If there are to be more polymer notes issued, might I humbly suggest another of the Victorian age鈥檚 master builders? Ahem.

Laughing stock

To France, where there are red faces all round after railway bosses ordered hundreds of trains that are too big to fit in many of the country鈥檚 stations. Contractors will have to alter 1,300 platforms around the country at a cost of 鈧�50m (拢40.5m) to accommodate the trains, which are due to be rolled out at the end of 2016. The transport minister saw the funny side, describing it as a 鈥渢ragicomedy鈥�, and, let鈥檚 face it, it鈥檚 not often the UK鈥檚 infrastructure is outdone in the tragicomic stakes, so we should all take the chance to enjoy this one. Could it be a conspiracy by French contractors to generate more work? Or an innovative form of Keynesian stimulus for the French economy? Theories on a postcard please.

Hit me baby one more time

It鈥檚 time once again for construction鈥檚 finest to cast aside the world of OJEU tenders and BIM for a one-night-only winner-takes-it-all shot at being Rock Gods. It is of course the annual Construction Rocks battle of the bands, which is now open for entries. Last year鈥檚 winner was Passiv Attack from architect Levitt Bernstein. The competition has raised a total of 拢60,000 for charities since its inception in 2008 and is aiming to raise another 拢15,000 this year for Land Aid. It will be held at The Vaults in Waterloo, London on 9 October. To enter or offer sponsorship please contact info@constructionrocks.com.

Slough of despond

The University of West London has had to drastically slim down in recent years from five campuses to just two, in Ealing and Brentford. The university sold two campuses in Reading and is in the process of offloading a third in Slough to balance its books. Speaking at a Built Environment Networking event in London last week, the institution鈥檚 vice chancellor, Professor Peter John, clearly bore the scars of these deep cuts. On the matter of selling the Slough campus, he said he was reminded of John Betjeman鈥檚 famous line: 鈥淐ome friendly bombs and fall on Slough!鈥� John deadpanned: 鈥淭hat would have saved me a lot of time.鈥�

Fighting talk

Speaking of David Moyes (see left), the papers, which have been delighting in the former Chosen One鈥檚 fall from grace, leapt on the story last week that he was wanted for questioning concerning a fracas at a winebar in Clitheroe, Lancashire. It is alleged that a builder provoked Moyes by giving him 鈥渓ip鈥� about his failures at Manchester United, prompting him to lose his temper. Exactly what happened next has yet to be established, but Josh Gillibrand, 23, a joiner by trade, who was not shy about speaking to the press, claims he 鈥渇eared for his life鈥� in the ensuing scuffle. If nothing else, it is good to see him challenging the stereotype of the rugged builder.