好色先生TV

A word to the unwise

Many would agree that there鈥檚 no shortage of bad advice in the industry, but now someone has thoughtfully written it down in one handy volume. Barry Ashmore鈥檚 the Little Book of Crap Advice For Specialist Subcontractors is filled with such gems as: 鈥淲hen pricing variations, over-measure quantities. Don鈥檛 worry about having to justify the cost: QSs can鈥檛 count.鈥� Ashmore follows this up with: 鈥淐onceal the fact you have over-measured from your boss. You can be sure he will see the funny side when he employs expensive consultants to resolve the account.鈥� Visit for more hilarity, and search for 鈥渃hallenge the chief鈥� to put question to construction tsar Paul Morrell. Has he been told, I wonder?

Non-uniform day

We can confirm that the division between architects and contractors is alive and well. At last week鈥檚 indoor cycling event at Modular Lighting there were lots of blazers, cords and asymmetric haircuts, all clearly belonging to architects. But who was the lone suit with the spiky hair? 鈥淎re you an architect too?鈥� I asked. 鈥淒o I look like a [expletive deleted] architect?鈥� he replied. Good point, Mr-Sir-Robert-McAlpine-and-Proud-Of-It.

Foolin鈥� around

We who toil on this publication are naturally tickled when our April鈥檚 fool stories take readers in, but our inbox tells us most of you aren鈥檛 fooled for long. Unless, of course you work for Lexis Nexis. A reader at Brent council tells me he recently received a 鈥減rocurement update鈥� from the information provider that contained our 1 April tale of a legal battle between Vinci and the Wurzels. At least I think it was an April fool 鈥�

The fox and the heron

The topping out of the Heron Tower last week required some top notch diplomacy skills from Heron International boss Gerald Ronson and Skanska chief executive Johan Karlstr枚m as they thanked the team for all their hard work. During the traditional name check they, somewhat vaguely, credited 鈥渢he designers鈥�. It鈥檚 easy to guess why. While Kohn Pedersen Fox officially won the scheme, Lee Polisano, the firm鈥檚 former London head, subsequently led a walk out to set up PLP Architects. With both now on the job, it probably made sense to keep credits loose, especially as Polisano and KPF chairman Gene Kohn, who haven鈥檛 spoken since the split, were both at the event 鈥� albeit on separate sides of the room.

Konflict³?

Question of the week: will Birmingham鈥檚 only krautrock-influenced band made of builders survive? The Cubes, led by singer, guitarist and former Birmingham Development Company director Neil Edginton, may not have had much time to practice recently, given the collapse of the scheme from which the band drew its name. I do hope that the rumoured wrangling over the price of the cladding at the Birmingham super-development hasn鈥檛 led to artistic differences in the band 鈥� more than half of its members are, after all, from German cladding company Haga.

The great escape

Our industry has not been unaffected by the volcanic ash covering northern Europe this week. 好色先生TV has been inundated with stories of Dunkirk spirit from plucky building bods. A rousing cheer, then, for Simon Rawlinson, partner at Davis Langdon, who escaped from Malm枚 by hiring 鈥渢he last coach in Sweden鈥� to get an overnight ferry to Hull 鈥� an ordeal in anyone鈥檚 language. Meanwhile, McBains Cooper boss Michael Thirkettle was stranded in the Algarve, juggling family and work commitments by internet. Others struggled to Calais by rail, to be told the boats were taking cars but not foot passengers. The design team from Electra Lighting was rescued by a relative, who drove over after their BA flights were cancelled. Their saviour? A pilot from the same airline. Now that鈥檚 customer service.