Sit back to hear some strange tales from the world of construction
Dull news just in
It鈥檚 not too often a chief executive wants an improved set of profits to be known as borderline boring but given the past few years that Kier has had, Andrew Davies is more than happy with that moniker. 鈥淩eassuringly dull,鈥 is his assessment of the firm鈥檚 latest numbers. 鈥淲e鈥檙e doing what we promised to do.鈥 I think Kier鈥檚 investors will take this particular shade of grey for a few years yet.
More of the same
My hack struggled to see too much of a difference between the recent results announced by M&E firm T Clarke and a trading statement it put out in late January. Last week鈥檚 headline numbers for turnover, pre-tax profit and order book were all the same as the update six weeks earlier. Made writing the story a bit easier, I suppose.
Mum鈥檚 the word
Keller said it has repaid all the furlough money it claimed during the pandemic. The ground engineering firm鈥檚 boss, Michael Speakman, reckons it was a bit of a no-brainer. It had done well enough, he says, to allow it to return the sum, which was less than 拢1m. Not a vast amount, let鈥檚 be honest, for a firm with a 拢2bn-plus turnover. He adds: 鈥淚 always think in situations like this: what would you tell your mum? Would you be proud?鈥 Good moral barometers, mums.
As ever with a job of Crossrail鈥檚 size, there are all sorts of mind-boggling facts such as the one about the project having 10,000 fire doors 鈥 most of them bespoke
Secrets of a QS
A chat with Exigere partner Dan Fryer reveals he was once on the end of a tongue-lashing about cost consultants from, of all professions, an architect. Pots, kettles and all that, I know. 鈥淪he didn鈥檛 know I was a QS,鈥 Fryer recalls of his encounter with a practice that is rather well-known before deciding to let it lie. Who knew diplomacy, as well as cost-cutting, was a skill in the QS armoury? Not contractors, I suspect.
Smooth operator
One of my team was sent to a press preview of Crossrail last week. I鈥檓 tempted to say she鈥檚 not come back, having presumably disappeared into the black hole that has consumed so many hopes and dreams on that job. But she has returned and told me chief executive Mark Wild was in chipper form. 鈥淲hen we get on the train,鈥 he mentioned to the assembled scribes, 鈥渢hink of the ride, how smooth it is. You鈥檒l notice the noise it produces is nothing like the Central line.鈥 Amen to that. I have had to relocate to a neck of the woods which requires using that line. It really is an unbearable din.
Trial by fire
As ever with a job of Crossrail鈥檚 size, there are all sorts of mind-boggling facts such as the one about the project having 10,000 fire doors. Most of them are bespoke, apparently, with the first pair sent off to Germany to be chucked into a furnace raging at 3,000潞C to make sure they worked. They did, but quite why they had to be incinerated 350 miles away, I鈥檓 not sure. Still, it prompted one of the hacks to remark later: 鈥淭hey鈥檙e used to burning money.鈥
Some cheer for the blues
Chelsea fans can rest easy if One Hyde Park developer Nick Candy buys the club. It鈥檚 been put up for sale by the recently sanctioned Roman Abramovich so it could take some time but, asked the all鈥慽mportant question, 鈥渇ine dining or home cooking?鈥, a while back, Candy told this magazine he was a home cooking man. Pasty and meat pie lovers at Stamford Bridge will be heartened, I鈥檓 sure.
Calling time
Eyebrows were raised this month when the sponsor body overseeing the restoration of the Palace of Westminster said the project might not be finished until the end of this century. That makes painting the Forth Rail Bridge seem speedy.
Swing time
American company, the wonderfully named Brian Boggs Chairmakers, is flogging an outdoor swing for, wait for it, $12,100. That鈥檚, like, nine grand in real money. It鈥檚 made from Honduran mahogany and, it says here, is inspired by the flowing curves of Asian timber frame architecture. It鈥檚 a deal. I鈥檒l have a dozen.
Send any juicy industry gossip to Mr Joseph Aloysius Hansom, who founded 好色先生TV in 1843, at hansom@building.co.uk
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