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鈥極h dear,鈥� I heard myself say, 鈥渉ere we go again 鈥︹�� Yes folks - it鈥檚 another construction industry strategy document. It鈥檚 called Government and Industry in Partnership: Construction 2025. And here is what it suggests we do 鈥�

The cost of plastering is going to come down by 33%. So too is the cost of the piling and groundworks, and superstructure, and roof and screeds, and M&E (wow, I bet you M&E folk are pleased), and ceilings, and glazing and, well, all of it. The government, by 鈥渨orking together鈥� has 鈥渄eveloped a clear and defined set of aspirations for UK construction 鈥� for 2025鈥�.

Thank goodness the government used the word 鈥渁spirations鈥� - for one tiny minute I thought they meant it. The aspiration is a 33% reduction in the cost of constructing an office block, school, house and hut. There鈥檚 more: this 75-page government story is telling us that we will save 50% in the overall time from inception to completion of new build and refurb jobs.

I, for one am excited. Let鈥檚 look at how these government folk are going to do it. Thumb the pages with me. Begin with page 22.

Here are 鈥淥ur joint commitments鈥�:

(1) 鈥淏uild the UK鈥檚 competitive advantage in smart construction and digital design through Digital Built Britain Agenda.鈥� That鈥檚 knocked 拢2/m虏 off plastering for a start.

(2) 鈥淒evelop market and technology based plans to secure the jobs and growth.鈥�

(3) 鈥淚dentify global trade opportunities.鈥� In other words go and do plastering in Cairo.

(4) 鈥淚mprove the image of the industry by inspiring young people.鈥� Inspire them to become plasterers who plaster at twice the speed and a third of the price.

(5) 鈥淎ddress construction issues in a strategic manner.鈥�

(6) 鈥淒evelop and refine the pipeline of future work.鈥� Are you keeping up?

(7) 鈥淒rive procurement efficiency and explore options for further efficiency.鈥�

(8) 鈥淎ddress access to finance.鈥� Hooray!

(9) 鈥淲ork with academic and research communities to bring forward research.鈥�

(10) 鈥淟ead the transformation of the industry through the new Construction Leadership Council with actions owned and delivered by industry bodies.鈥�

So, what do you think of all that? Did we get the plastering down by six quid a square metre? I mean to say that if we can massively speed up the lads doing the putter-uppering we can get the time aspiration down by that 50%, if they plaster twice as quickly and work 28 hours a day and eight days a week - easy.

No, I am not taking the mickey.

I admit the report starts badly. It comes from government, and you folk in that village haven鈥檛 got it yet, have you? Don鈥檛 produce a report like this and think that folk will swallow it.

The talk of 鈥渟trategic priorities鈥�, 鈥渢he action plan鈥�, 鈥渢he target dates鈥�, the talk of 鈥淒rivers of Change鈥�, it doesn鈥檛 wash. What the hell do you mean when you say 鈥渄evelop a co-ordinated approach to engage young people鈥� (all by 鈥淲inter 2013鈥�)? Who writes this stuff? This is waffle.

The implication in this document is that our construction industry is duff, inept, too expensive and idle. So, the government says get your prices down by 33%, and speed up your work.

So, let me tell them how to get their act right:

(1) You ask contractors to price the job when you haven鈥檛 made up your mind what you want. The price given is for a guess. Then the contractor is utterly messed about by your change orders. That鈥檚 where you, not the industry, cause 33% loss. Why do your jobs take 50% longer? It鈥檚 because your change orders delay progress. Make no bones about it, it is you that is the root cause of blowing the budget.

(2) Next, this industry can鈥檛 invest because it makes no profit. It never makes money out of disruption claims and disputes. Let it make money from change-free works and then it will have the cash to employ these kids, buy that plant, and have time to innovate and invent.

(3) The commercial risk in construction is massive. Hardly any job comes through without a calamitous loss somewhere down the line.

So the response is clear. HM Government, take your woolly words in this 鈥渓et鈥檚 blame industry鈥� document and start again. It鈥檚 you who have to get your act right, not the plasterers.

Tony Bingham is a barrister and arbitrator at 3 Paper 好色先生TVs, Temple