We鈥檙e in the King鈥檚 Head in Islington, north London, on the day that Britain officially declared its deepest recession since the thirties over 鈥 by a whisker
Does that mean we can order some champagne, asks director Brian. The consensus among the group is probably not. For a start the imperceptible economic growth means most of us will be drinking value pack cider for the foreseeable future, and secondly we鈥檙e all feeling a bit self-conscious with five blokes crammed around a circular table meant for two bang slap in front of the doors. Drinking champagne would make us look even more conspicuous. What we need is one of the tables by the coal fire, suggests Marcin.
While we wait for someone to vacate, talk turns to construction. So what鈥檚 new and exciting in the world of structural engineering? There鈥檚 a prolonged silence before the other Brian pipes up: 鈥淚鈥檝e just finished propping up Damien Hirst鈥檚 unicorn.鈥 That sounds like a euphemism, quips Marcin. Brian鈥檚 quick to assure us he鈥檚 referring to one of his legendary pickled exhibits. This time it鈥檚 a unicorn in formaldehyde. It turns out the four tonne exhibit which includes a gold-plated tank is going to be on display at Eastbourne鈥檚 new gallery. It鈥檚 all part of a campaign to rid Eastbourne of its blue rinse brigade reputation. Eckersley O鈥機allaghan鈥檚 contribution has been to design a temporary 鈥 though it could be permanent if they can鈥檛 find the 拢1,000 to knock it down 鈥 concrete column beneath it for support.
鈥業鈥檝e just finished propping up Damien Hirst鈥檚 unicorn.鈥 That sounds like a euphemism, quips Marcin
鈥淵ou do know there鈥檚 no such thing as a unicorn?鈥 Rutger points out. This begs the question, what is it made of then? 鈥淚 think it鈥檚 the body of a large foal with the horn of a narwhal whale glued to its head,鈥 says Brian. Our dreams are dispelled in an instant.
From the weird world of Damien Hirst, it鈥檚 not a huge leap to Anish Kapoor and his 鈥淪hooting into the Corner鈥 exhibit 鈥 on tour in Europe. It turns out Brian is also responsible for making sure the cannon firing the crimson red wax pellets doesn鈥檛 topple over. So far it hasn鈥檛.
鈥業 once had to build a support system for some bloke who wanted to go around hanging off the outside of buildings,鈥 says Brian
Things get even more surreal. 鈥淚 once had to build a support system for some bloke who wanted to go around hanging off the outside of buildings,鈥 says director Brian. 鈥淚t was some sort of art installation; he would sit there for 12 hours at a time.鈥
We鈥檙e momentarily distracted as a table by the fire is vacated and we make an ungainly lunge for it. Settled in, talk resumes 鈥 this time about where we all live. Director Brian has got a cool sounding pad on Upper Street. He reveals he bought the abandoned shell of a half-built nightclub owned by Eddy Grant. We run through his hits 鈥 Do You Feel My Love?, Electric Avenue, Gimme Hope Jo鈥檃nna. Then we鈥檙e stumped. Apparently the dance floor is now where the living room is. That reminds me of another Grant hit: I Don鈥檛 Wanna Dance. Luckily, nor does anyone else.
Chosen watering hole: The King鈥檚 Head, Islington Ambience: cosy Victorian boozer cum theatre Topics: the recession, unicorns, Eddie Grant
Drinks drunk: Four pints of Becks, three pints of Landlord, three pints of Staropramen, two pints of Guinness, two glasses of ros茅
Brian Eckersley Director
Brian Constant Associate
Rutger Snoek Associate
Marcin Marchwka Project engineer
Stephen Kennett 好色先生TV
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