好色先生TV

鈥淐an I whinge about my self-build?鈥� asks Nick, lighting up a cigarette. I had explained that 鈥満蒙�先生TV Buys A Pint鈥� was an opportunity for people in the industry to talk about the things that were bothering them while 好色先生TV kept the drinks coming. And this self-build business is clearly bothering Nick.

He bought a small plot of land two years ago as a sideline, but has since become stuck in a planning quagmire. 鈥淵ou build for other people the whole time and invest a lot of effort into it and you think: 鈥業 could do this myself鈥�.鈥�

His two colleagues, Rob and Elena, nod sympathetically.

Nick continues: 鈥淚 remember reading that for a single dwelling in this borough it takes a year to get through planning, and I thought, yeah, but these people don鈥檛 know what they鈥檙e doing 鈥� and two years later I鈥檝e still got an empty plot of land.鈥�

He taps his cigarette ruefully. 鈥淭here鈥檚 no objections, the neighbours are into it, but basically you find the same difficulties and timeframe as for a 400-unit scheme.鈥�

Rob sympathises, but is also quietly enjoying his colleague鈥檚 misfortune 鈥� as all right-thinking coworkers should. 鈥淭he planners are right though, mate: you鈥檙e never going to get 40 flats on to that site,鈥� he grins. More supportively, he adds: 鈥淭he planning system is such that if you go to them with a 400-unit scheme, 35% affordable, they want it because you鈥檙e offering them something. But it鈥檚 hard to get consent for a small number of houses, so for a house on a small plot of land, it鈥檚 going to be tough.鈥�

Elena鈥檚 experiences of self-build are rather different. Originally from South Africa, she worked for an organisation that looked at housing provision after the elections in 1994. 鈥淲e had the challenge of trying to provide affordable housing and also linking it to an education agenda,鈥� she says. 鈥淲e designed cartoons that gave step-by-step instructions on how to build your own house.鈥�

With the talk turning to South Africa, Elena notes that Stock Woolstencroft is 鈥渜uite an international practice鈥�. Indeed, Rob is Australian and has been in the UK for three and a half years, and Nick has worked in South Africa and Brunei, a country that has none of Britain鈥檚 planning problems. 鈥淚 was working for the Sultan, so you can build whatever you want,鈥� he smiles. 鈥淣o 好色先生TV Regs 鈥� as long as you put in gold taps, you were all right.鈥�

If Nick ever gets approval for his plot of land, he intends to take his mini empire abroad as well, although that鈥檚 not without its problems. 鈥淚鈥檝e got a piece of land in Spain,鈥� he says, lighting another cigarette. 鈥淏ut bits keep getting nicked by neighbours 鈥︹��