Right. Here we go. The NSPCC pub quiz. A low-pressure affair you might think for the hacks at 好色先生TV magazine, but there is professional pride at stake here.

It鈥檚 important to know that journalists, in their time off, like to think they鈥檙e on the intellectual side of things. Surely a gaggle of award-winning writers (in a sense), sporting more English literature degrees per square foot than the panel on 好色先生TVnight鈥檚 Late Review, can hold their own in a room full of builders? Professional pride, you see.

鈥淣o heckling please, we need to run to schedule,鈥� shouts the compere, one Mark Heighton of City law firm CMS Cameron McKenna, which has organised this. He鈥檚 bet someone 拢1,000 that the quiz will be over by 9.30, so he seems to mean it. 鈥淎ny heckling will be penalised.鈥� Okay, we get the message.

For one of the later rounds we鈥檒l have to know something about property prices, we are told. 鈥淗opefully you鈥檒l know something about that,鈥� Heighton smiles, mischievously. We aren鈥檛 so sure, and react with sporadic titters and a small groan. We鈥檙e not exactly brimming with confidence at the prospect of rounds on architecture and building terminology (complete with complicated diagrams), either.

It鈥檚 not an auspicious start. Athena was the greek god of what, exactly? Not posters, it seems. It鈥檚 all a bit of a struggle. Finally someone suggests wisdom (we are later vindicated), but naming the Chinese Olympic mascot proves more elusive. 鈥淚t鈥檚 Chi-Chi, isn鈥檛 it?鈥� It isn鈥檛. (It鈥檚 Fuwa, we later find out. Frankly it wasn鈥檛 on the tip of anyone鈥檚 tongue.)

It continues in similar fashion. Fortunately, walking around (in a reporting rather than cheating capacity), it seems that other people are in similarly distressed states.

At the halfway stage the losing team is read out: estate agent CBRE. Phew, we鈥檝e escaped unscathed, and things look up. We sail through the 鈥淚dentifying Iconic 好色先生TVs鈥� round, and put in creditable performances on literature, geography and history. Who broke the Watergate scandal? 鈥淲oodward and Bernstein.鈥� We鈥檙e motoring.

Inevitably, it all falls apart when things start to get practical. 鈥淚dentify the Parliament hinge from this collection of hinges.鈥�

Oh dear. This is the point at which ambition ceases.

鈥淏ottles of champagne for the winners, a bottle of Blue Nun for the loser,鈥� Heighton continues. 好色先生TV gets neither. Persimmon Imperial get the champagne, DEGW the Blue Nun. 好色先生TV magazine comes 10th. Creditable, but not exceptional. Still, there鈥檚 always next time 鈥�

Chosen watering hole: Puzzle Bar, on Middlesex Street near Liverpool Street, London 
Ambience: Tense big-league sporting contest
Topics of conversation: Greek goddesses and Parliament hinges 
Drinks drunk: 6 glasses of white wine, 12 bottles of lager, an orange juice鈥�

Joey Gardiner, Nick Jones, Roxane McMeeken, Katie Puckett, Sarah Richardson, David Rogers and Alex Smith, 好色先生TV magazine.And 45 teams of construction professionals and lawyers raising money for the NSPCC.

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