好色先生TV

A kick in the nimbys

It will not come as a surprise to you that MPs are prepared to go to any lengths to protect their seats. Charles Clarke tried to curry favour with the nimby vote in his Norwich South constituency by supporting a petition against a proposed bungalow on his street. However, Clarke didn鈥檛 do the door-knocking himself 鈥� instead his wife went up and down the road collecting signatures. The ingratiation may have backfired, however 鈥� one woman on the home secretary鈥檚 street emails me to say she took one look at the petition then went and voted Tory.

Ahhhhhhh

You would have thought that hanging on to a hotly contested marginal and seeing your party returned to government would be an excuse for a glass or two of champagne 鈥� but not if you鈥檙e Nigel Griffiths. Rather than a wild night on the town, Nige chose to spend last weekend with his elderly aunt and sister. 鈥淚鈥檓 just not a party person,鈥� he tells me. I assume he was referring to his preference for Horlicks rather than being the latest Labour MP to turn independent, but you never can tell with Nigel.

Now even richer 鈥�

Stef Stefanou is a wily man. He managed to snaffle 50 notes off my colleague last week by accurately predicting the general election result. Stef guessed a Labour majority of about 70, whereas my dim-witted colleague went for greater than 80. No wonder Staf is so rich. And while we鈥檙e on the subject, he and brother Stelios were ranked 740th in this year鈥檚 The Sunday Times Rich List with a combined wealth of 拢66m, but I鈥檓 told the newspaper didn鈥檛 add up their fortunes correctly 鈥� they may in fact be 拢5m better off than that 鈥�

Prescott鈥檚 prerogative

We hold our hands up this week: the usually uncannily accurate predictions of our newsdesk were a little awry last week. David Blunkett is not, it transpires, the new minister for Local Government and Communities. In our defence, the story was entirely correct on Friday morning, and went on being so until the moment when Tony Blair had a last-minute change of heart, possibly precipitated by the fact John Prescott was about to punch his head in. Prezza reportedly blocked moves to break up his ODPM fiefdom, and all the signs are that Blair caved in because right now he needs all the friends he can get.

The politics of fear

The Respect party certainly made an impact at last week鈥檚 general election when 鈥淕orgeous George鈥� Galloway sneaked in as MP for Bow and Bethnal Green constituency. This came despite some unusual attempts to drum up public support. RICS spinmeister Andrew Smith recounts seeing a Respect entourage pass by his house recently, complete with loudspeakers denouncing Tony Blair as a warmonger. And Smith鈥檚 abiding memory of the campaign bus? 鈥淭wo kids making V-signs at me out of the back window. Not much respect there,鈥� he comments.

Wild rumour

Rumours are circulating that trans-London rail link Crossrail will be scrapped if the capital wins the right to host the 2012 Olympics. A source reckons he heard this from a mate of his in the government. Crossrail bosses have assured me that this is 鈥渦tter nonsense鈥�. Still, let鈥檚 not be too shocked if its future is being questioned behind closed doors 鈥�

Take a bow
Responding to my challenge last month, Aukett Fitzroy Robinson director Andrew Murdoch claims that he can beat 好色先生TV鈥檚 unofficial bow-tie-tying record of nine seconds, set by Peter Murray and Owen Luder in the early 1980s. Murdoch explains his success: 鈥淚 often find myself hurriedly putting on a tie in a taxi, walking along a street or at traffic lights if I鈥檓 driving. I seem to be able to do it without a mirror now.鈥� But can he do it one-handed?